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CANCER

by INHALANT

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1.
IMMOVABLE OBJECTS Common things Carry wretched weights And simple things become Immovable objects x Common things seem so helpless If thought is ever thrown there way But here they’re just immovable objects Cold, and hard, and grey Between us and our harm Disgraced Defrocked Disarmed Between us and our charms Dismissed Denuded and Dismatled Broken in and entered Without tripping the alarms There’s no jumping out the window Without tripping the alarms Boiled Soft or hard uncommon hearts With wretched weights are hexed And simple things become immovable objects What cursed things are next Such common hearts are vexed But which one of you is next But which one of you is next But which one of you is next Common things Carry wretched weights And simple things become Immovable objects Common things seem so helpless If thought is ever thrown there way But here they’re just immovable objects Cold, and hard, and grey Between us and our harm Disgraced Defrocked Disarmed Between us and our charms Dismissed Denuded and Dismatled Broken in and entered Without tripping the alarms There’s no jumping out the window Without tripping the alarms Such common hearts are vexed But which one of you is next But which one of you is next But which one of you is next Boiled Soft or hard uncommon hearts With wretched weights are hexed And simple things become immovable objects Immovable objects What cursed things are next Such common hearts are vexed But which one of you is next
2.
SLOW CHOKE 03:03
SLOW CHOKE Sweet smoke Slow choke Candy cigarettes Sweet smoke Slow choke Powdered finger tips This high will keep you alive But you’ve got a tight chest And shallow breath Lung stains Heart strains Heart pain Black tar Hidden scars Sweet dreams Endless hours of harmless fun It’s a slow death with a sour tongue Never again Just this once Never again Just one more
3.
CAFE INO 03:00
CAFE INO (FOR PATTI) Madrigal Mayhem Master Monster Maestro Mstress Mercy Mother Mother Mastiff mischief marigold Mind How many times How many times No hands on this clock No end no start Loosen your tie fine lover of mine Unwrap your cake Venus Verdi Vector Violent Villain Venom Veil Vermin No one’s perfect No one’s perfect L.A. woman crucified Arms stretched out wide Crucified Crucified
4.
CANCER 02:44
CANCER My body multiplies And raises fists against me My body opens up it’s wrists And brings its weight to bare against me Split and divide No place to hide My body is against me: accent up on “against” accent down on “me” My body is against me And cancer is the answer To the question I’ve been asking all my life My blind carnivore My innocent beast Pearl of my lung I am your feast Proliferate Disseminate Divide Proliferate Disseminate Divide Conquer Colonize And never Stem the tide
5.
STITCHES 02:53
STITCHES So you’ve fallen No big deal Wounds heal And stitches fall out Stitches fall out What a waste Full of lies Scratch and claw Chew and gnaw Swallow whole The pit of doubt And spit it out Spit it out What’s rock bottom When hell is south Wounded soul Fallen angel Crass ideas Of privileged masses Thieves of joy Takers Wasters What a waste Feel the angst Stomach turns Wake and burn Swallow whole The pit of sorrow Flesh will grow Flesh will rot Flesh will grow And stitches fall out
6.
CAPTIVE 02:57
Captive There is mesh and silver sky There is a prayer for endless roads But comfort in captivity I might just die if i were free If there’s a way to die in here I haven’t found it But I am dead just the same I am alive in little ways The blacks and bays that tread so hard Upon the night But dark is just a word with no context Light is just a ribbon sewn to the sky But light’s a thing that holds no joy There is no sex We have no gender Pleasure’s there But only as a measure of our heads above the water As a stale manipulation of a scream that has no order CAPTIVE Self is not a thing to cling to Bell is not a ring to pray to Love is just a desperate measure To keep our heads above the water Water’s just a measure of our naked horror We feel the need to run so desperately But there is such comfort in captivity Nothing is free There is so much comfort in captivity Is it wings that set you free Birds still sing in captivity If mesh and silver sky just peel away It’s only endless roads you see Pull the bonds tight round you Feel peace inside captivity CAPTIVITY
7.
Digitalis Heart A bruise on evening’s cheek As all color runs from all night Man fashioned from horror’s rib All sight is a gift of stolen light A bruise on flush and prideful cheek Chest in mud Head in the creek I am seen at a great distance I am bright with laughing flames My digitalis heart is broken and racing To the end of pain I am broken and racing To the end of pain I am seen at a great distance I am bright with laughing flames My digitalis heart is broken and racing To the end of pain I am broken and racing To the end of pain A bruise on flush and prideful cheek Chest in mud Head in the creek My hand never wavered with my heart in the river But i never favored the awful taste of water just the river that runs from the sow as it’s slaughtered As all color runs from all night Man fashioned from horror’s rib All sight is a gift of stolen light I am seen at a great distance I am bright with laughing flames My digitalis heart is broken and racing To the end of pain Broken I am racing To the end of pain I am seen at a great distance I am bright with laughing flames I am racing to the end of pain A bruise on flush and prideful cheek Chest in mud Head in the creek My hand never wavered with my heart in the river But i never favored the taste of water My digitalis heart is broken and racing I am broke and racing to the end of pain
8.
DROWNING 03:39
DROWNING The iron gates are closing Am I safe, secure I’ve lost my place Slowed my pace Am I drowning Stuck under the lion’s weight And then your words Then children’s daggers And then your words engage Am I safe or am I drowning No, you won’t let me go You won’t let me go I’m not drowning You pull me up But I want to go I need to go Am I drowning No

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released April 10, 2018

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INHALANT Portland, Oregon

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TOLUENE

BREATH DEEP

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